ZOMBIE APOCLYPSE HAS ALREADY BEGUN?

A scary bit of news is coming out of Miami Florida, U.S.A. sometimes ago  after the city police shot a naked man found eating another man's face. And several circumstances of the story have some people crying zombie.

The police were called in recently after the attacker was spotted on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp. When the attacker failed to back away at the officer's request, the officer shot the attacker.

Now it's one thing to eat another person, and it's quite another to eat another person and then continue eating after you've been shot. Witnesses claim the officer fired half a dozen shots before the attacker finally stopped. The attacker was killed, and the victim is currently in the hospital.

This is obviously a great tragedy, one that's left one man dead and another disfigured, and the police are theorizing cocaine psychosis rather than zombification as the cause of the attack. But residents of Miami can rest easy in the knowledge that the police are prepared to nip any zombie outbreaks in the bud.

The following  are 4 terrifying signs the zombie apocalypse has already started

1)      The Face Eater

In Miami, a naked man later identified as Rudy Eugene ate 75% of another man’s face off and gouged out his eyes in broad daylight in public. When a police officer shot the man he didn’t react aside from growling. It took several gunshots to finally kill him. Although the street drug known as “bath salts” was originally suspected, it turned out the only drug he had in his system was weed. “He was a good kid,” his mother told press. “He gave me a nice card on Mother’s Day. Everyone says he was a zombie. He was no zombie. That was my son.”

2)      The Intestine Thrower

Police had to break into the home of a man in New Jersey when he began repeatedly stabbing himself with a long kitchen knife, screaming, and throwing his own intestines at the officers. Two cans of pepper spray had no effect and it took a SWAT team to drag him to emergency surgery to try to repair the critical damage he had done to himself.

3)      The Arm Biter

 

A self-employed contractor got so enraged at two employees when he was shopping at Lowe’s that he threatened them with knives, and then viciously bit their arms, drawing blood. Note that like the intestine thrower, this possible zombie was still capable of using knives to carve up his dinner as well as his teeth—a disturbing twist on the zombies we expect since if they can retain that much eye hand coordination they’re going to be a lot tougher to fight off than in the movies.

4)      The Stomach Biter

 

In Florida last week, a naked man broke garden furniture, climbed up to the roof of a house, and then jumped onto a truck. When the home’s owners woke up and opened the door to see what was going on, the man attacked them biting a chunk out of one of the homeowner’s stomachs. The bitten man refused medical treatment.

In June the Center for Disease Control (CDC) issued a statement in an attempt to reassure the public that the zombie apocalypse had not started and that zombies do not in fact exist. 
“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms).”  

But isn’t reassuring the public in order to prevent the chaos of an absolute panic exactly what the powers-that-be would do in a real emergency? We probably have nothing to worry about because we can trust our governments to tell us the truth…right?

Source: Agency